Step No. 2: Freedom Begins with a Simple Word — No
- Evita Vincevica
- 4 days ago
- 2 min read
My biggest mistake in life wasn’t a bad decision or a wrong turn. It was my inability to set boundaries.
From the outside, I’m often described as strong, capable, reliable. But behind the scenes, I’ve found myself trapped in relationships and situations where I quietly became a prisoner — simply because I didn’t say one small, powerful word in time: no.
Why is it so hard? Because, let’s be honest — we all want to be liked. It feels good to be that person. The best friend everyone calls when life falls apart. The one who listens, supports, helps — emotionally and financially. The one who never asks for anything in return.
Somewhere along the way, I realized I liked being needed. It fed my self-esteem. It made me feel valuable. And at first, that feels beautiful.
Until one day it doesn’t.
One day you wake up and realize you’ve turned into someone’s personal savings account — open 24/7, no withdrawals questioned, no deposits returned. Your help is always available, but when you need something, you’re met with polite excuses. And somehow, you understand them. You always do.
The same pattern appears at work. How could they possibly function without the “ideal employee”? The one who goes above and beyond, takes on tasks that aren’t in the job description, stays late for the sake of the “shared goal.” Until responsibilities exceed your capacity, your salary no longer reflects your effort, and a newly hired junior employee earns significantly more than you do.
That’s when you start talking about burnout — and everyone around you is shocked by your “sudden” change in attitude.
And then there’s family. The hardest chapter of all.
Where exactly is the line between being a loving wife, mother, daughter — and being the person who carries the emotional weight of the entire household? The one who tries to solve everyone’s problems, even the ones that were never meant to be hers. And the real question is: should you?
Because if you want to stay loving, supportive, and sane, you need space to breathe. You need rest. And the moment you finally take that step back, something surprising happens: people cope. Meals get cooked. Homes get cleaned. Problems get solved.
Not because you failed — but because you finally learned to say no.
No, I can’t come over for coffee today.
No, I can’t lend you a hundred euros this time.
No, I can’t stay late — I have plans with my family.
No, I won’t be cooking tonight, but I’ll gladly accept a surprise (yes, pizza counts).
And this isn’t selfishness. It isn’t arrogance or laziness.
It’s self-care.
It’s choosing freedom — the kind that doesn’t come with extra obligations or guilt.The kind that trusts others to handle their own lives, just as they always could.
And sometimes, freedom really does begin with just one word.
No.
